Never Ending Chase...

And I trotted, swiftly,
again and again, and again,
in circles, in a continuous motion,
I trotted away,
again and again, and again, in circles...

Then I stopped, and you trotted away,
away, and more farther, all I could say was,
you trotted away, far away...

I tried to follow, pursue,
caught up, but then couldn't reach just as yet,
as I again followed,
ran this time around,
but it was all like a
Beaver in a bowl,
round and round and round...

I gnashed against the wheels,
sick of the movement,
yet never reaching,
I got sick of all the energy,
spent in earnest, and I sat down,
tired, and frustrated with the never ending chase...

Too tired, I didn't look up,
I didn't want to see,because
I knew, I knew what lay in front...

I knew, it was a silhouette ever diminishing
before me, so I refused to look up,
I said nay,leave me be...

But then again, I ventured, later,
as a minute passed into the scene,
I looked up,
and I still wonder what is it that I see...?

© Karthik Adithya Singaraju

Path of Doom...

The gaunt pallor in the reeking mess,
the haunted spirit and the spirited fest...

On those deathless eyes, one can see,
watch the screaming bloodshot cries...

The flesh and bone of life,
all eaten away by the forces,
all left but ruined mass of dust...

The smoke rising from the veils
adorned by the ghostly presence,
the light burning in the wakeful watch,
and the ghastly drifting of a soulless mass...

In the darkness of hellish pits,
where the fires of dead passions lie,
untold and unseen, this spirit drifts...

Prodded as in life and so in death,
by the stabs of the unfair wrath,
ever on the path of doom,
the wraith walks its path...

© Karthik Adithya Singaraju

Silence at the Sea...

Things have changed,
times have passed,
once all low and blue,
now calm and new....

The vociferous cries have muffled,
buckled under their own weight,
while the calmer balm of respite
applies itself over the wound...

Now mind rests, silent, without,
within its own little shack of thoughts...
Heart seems to be at ease,
nay, just tired, no longer in pain,
as the little fluttering has taken its toll...

Now everything remains calm,
restful repose...

Calm?

Wait calm is good,
and good is not present,
so calm indeed might not be
the word you see...

Aye, now I see,
it is the silence that I mistook
for calmness you see...

Honest mistake,
disgruntled turbulence is lost,
and such abundance is seen,
such silence like a ship
marooned at the sea...

© Karthik Adithya Singaraju

Sonnet to The Eyelid...

It waited hidden while its friend sees the world,
dancing, flickering, turning here and thence...

It waits folded, alone,
invisible to else,
while its friend shows off,
the beautiful self...

It shields its friend from harsh biting light,
it shields its friend from the dirt and smite...

It helps its friend cope with the chilly winds,
it nests its friend and
becomes a blanket when it sleeps...

To the eye which sees the world,
it is but the ugly eyelid,
ever present but never seen...

© Karthik Adithya Singaraju

"Yes, I understand and I know..."

Things are clearer,
I can see them like radium,
glowing,sinister in the darkness...

All the hard matter has withered,
ashes, ashes, ashes,
blackened brush of Almighty art...

The bristles, dark reminders of
the prickling pain, inconceivable...
The paint,
soot burnt away in the fires,
in the passions untold, and the emotions
unexpressed..
Wettened by the untold feeling of loss...

And all that He could whip up
in his aesthetic hand for me,
was just a little blotch,
and I just had to make peace with Him,
the one who can't be mistaken,
I just had to say,
"Yes, I understand and I know..."

***************

And the moment when that was said,
something inside died, something tender,
something timid enough to last out till the last,
waiting, hoping I would look at it once again,
but for Him I agreed to slay,
kill the 'me' - bereft of hope,
inside me...

Always forgotten, and now dead...

And no matter how hard I try,
something tells me,
it will never come back,
and turning back one last time,
He says, "Yes, I understand and I know..."

© Karthik Adithya Singaraju

Hiatus of My Disconcerted Brain...

There is a pain in the voice,
and there is a little hitch and an ache...
But words seem to flow away...

There is a voice restrained,
which bursts on my wake,
and the hole seems to gap...

What's written, and what is tried,
what is known and what is lied,
its all there hidden deep inside...

And when I try to simply let it go,
and all I yearn to is find pain no more,
it always comes back ever more so...

The many days, the many times,
we had shared that moment's light,
and all that I wished was never to say
good bye...

But it points out glaring all the same,
the hiatus of my disconcerted brain...
That I miss the feeling I had found,
all I see is missing void and sounds...

Talk to me,
tell me why,
all that remains with me is a memory deep inside,
that I wish...never to let go...

© Karthik Adithya Singaraju

The Kid who never grew...

The weight of what I do...


I walk a path of shards,
of pointed bleeding pieces,
piercing through the pale
flesh, bloodless and haunted
of thought, of that fearful memory...

The weight of what I do...

Its a sharp arrow, I seek,
the glistening metal pointing-
threatening to tear apart what
little clothe covers, dusky and
rendered porous by the target practice...

The weight of what I do....

It stays there, laughing,
and I standing there, weak,
knobbly at the knees, smile,
a little weak flutter of fear,
and of hope, and what else is
there...

The weight of what I do, and
the left-overs of the kid who never grew...

© Karthik Adithya Singaraju